Inebriation
by PhoeniciaOnFire
Summary: When Prussia holds a party, you know it's gonna be a good one...   Oneshot. Warning: Extremely drunk Nations and minor violence. Some OOC due to severe drunkenness


**Hello! This is an idea that came to me while writing Atlantis, and since I couldn't include a party scene I decided to write it as a oneshot. I would also like to mention that this is being uploaded under duress from a certain Joanne who has promised to kill me if I don't. Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p>When Prussia throws a party, you know it'll be a good one. Rock music was blaring through the house. The volume of the bass was literally shaking the furniture. The plaster on the walls was disintegrating by the speakers. An entire shelf full of cuckoo clocks went crashing to the ground. A single "cuckoo" emanated from the broken pile of glass, wood and metal. No one noticed. Over in a corner, on the opposite side of the room from the speakers, stood Canada, swaying slightly, a large glass full of maple syrup and vodka in his hand. It was his third. Needless to say: He was drunk. America was dancing wildly near the center of the room, waving his arms and kicking his legs rapidly. He was also drunk. He spotted his brother in the corner and made his way over, spilling three beers and standing on seven people's feet in the process. Which was pretty good, considering there were forty people in the entire house. He finally reached Canada, wobbling like crazy.<p>

"Heya Matt-Matt! It's your hero brother!" he yelled. Canada swayed on the spot, staring at him, a blank expression on his face. America repeated himself, screaming to be heard over the music. Canada still stared at him blankly. Then a spark of recognition appeared in his eyes, and he smiled. He then proceeded to pour his entire glass over America's head. Alfred spluttered as the icy liquid ran down his face in rivulets and then down his back. Canada giggled. A look of wounded fury appeared slowly on Alfred's face and he opened his mouth to yell.

"Amerika, I think you will not be bothering my Matvey, da?" From America's perspective, the tall Russian had just appeared from nowhere and started shouting at him. Alfred leant backwards, pulled back a fist to punch him... And fell straight on top of a slightly tipsy Belarus. The screech was that of a banshee, in more ways than one. The sight of his insane younger sister squashed beneath America proved too much for Russia, who burst into his kolkolkol laugh. Canada followed suit, laughing all the harder at his brother's terrified expression. He grabbed onto Russia for support and they were still laughing when Alfred and Natalya had managed to get back to their feet half a minute later. As soon as she set eyes on Russia, she instantly forgot about America.

"Nothing can stand in the way of our love, brother!" she shrieked over the music. Russia's laughter was instantly cut of in a strangled gulp. She took a step forward, extending her arms towards him. He tried to step back, found only wall, before turning to the right and sprinting out the room. Belarus followed him, screaming something in Russian. Alfred was sniggering. "Commie bastard." he grinned to himself, leaning against the wall next to Canada. Unfortunately he was looking at Cuba at the time. Who had just turned round to see America grinning and sniggering, apparently at him. He charged straight at the Nation.

**Meanwhile in the kitchen...**

"Gerroff Froggie." mumbled a highly inebriated England. He was sitting on the kitchen counter, clutching a beer in his hand and leaning against the cupboard. France was sitting on the counter next to him, very close and almost certainly in his personal space. England's messy blonde hair was even messier than normal, due to a recent attack by France.

"Ce que mon Angleterre? I didn't quite catch that." France grinned, running his fingers up England's spine. He wasnt as drunk as England, but he was still tipsy.

"'M serious, 'ran'is. Cu' i' ou'."' England slurred. France ignored him and started tickling his ear. England swung wildly and smacked him in the nose with a half-full bottle of beer. France fell off the counter. He climbed slowly to his feet again.

"Honhonhonhon, so thats how you want to play, mon lapin?"

"'m not a lapin." France's eyes gleamed pervertedly.

"Ah, but you are mine, non?"

**In the dining room...**

"WOO! GO CHINA! NEARLY AS AWESOME AS ME!" yelled a drunken Prussia, cheering China on. The latter was standing on the dining room table, several glasses and bottles arranged around him. It was obvious that someone had persuaded him to drink a little too much. That was the only credible explanation for him playing air guitar with his wok. An electric guitar solo started screaming through the speakers on the windowsill. China knelt down and swang his arm a little too vigorously, colliding with a tumbler of whiskey beside him. It went flying across the room, just missing Korea's head, before smashing a hole in the window. China turned round to see what had happened and grinned, before toppling over on to his side and falling into a drunken sleep. Prussia was amazed. That was some awesome air guitar!

**In the garden...**

The garden was ridiculously tidy. Of course, considering who the garden belonged to, it wasn't surprising. It was shaped as a rectangle, with the shortest sides parallel to the house's back wall. In the far left corner stood a shed. It was made of dark brown wood, and looked strong enough to withstand a missile attack. In the middle of the right side was a circular pond, at least two meters in diameter, filled with water lilies. The water sparkled in the solar lights that were placed on the edge of the path that wound it's way through the grass. The path led to the greenhouse on the left of the porch and sloped it's way around to the shed. It started from the porch that jutted out from the back of the house. Hanging from the porch was a beautiful wooden swing seat, big enough for two. It was there that Spain and Romano were sitting. Of course, they weren't very interested in the garden. They had much more pressing matters on their minds...

"That bastard Prussia has beer, whiskey and vodka, but no wine!" Romano was not pleased. And sober. Spain looked slightly guilty.

"Actually, Roma... He did. I drank it all." Romano went an interesting shade of red.

"Wha- You tomato bastard! Why didn't you save some for me!"

"Well, I was thirsty, and it wasn't very good wine, and I didn't think you would have wanted anyway..."

"Oh really?" Romano had a scarily calm look on his face. "Come here, Spain. I want to show you something..."

"Oh? What is it Roma?"Romano smiled scarily and kissed him, before standing up.

"Follow me..."

**On the roof...**

Russia sighed with relief. His sister, Belarus, was scary enough when she was sober. But when she was tipsy? She made America's reaction to ghosts seem normal... But hopefully she wouldn't be able to get up onto the roof. It had been almost impossible for him to climb up there, especially since he had destroyed the ladder to prevent her from following...

"Russia? Is that you on the roof? Wait there, I'll climb up! Hold on, the ladder is broken... Never mind! I'll climb up from the bathroom window!"

_Five minutes later..._

"Erm Russia? Could you help me please? I was standing on the toilet cistern to get through the window and I slipped. My foot is stuck... Brother, can you hear me? Russia? Oh. Lithuania. Why have you come in here? This bathroom is obviously in use... Well I'm stuck you imbecile. Do you think I go around putting my foot in toilets for the sheer fun of it? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET GO OF MY LEG AT ONCE! RUSSIA!"

**In the shed...**

Japan cringed as a loud sound of smashing glass reached his ears. It sounded like there was a war going on out there! Oh well, as long as he stayed inside the shed, he would be safe. Besides, these sacks of fertiliser were quite comfortable really... Hearing a loud splash, he turned on the torch on his phone, to check the door was still barricaded. This was going to be a long night.

**The next morning...**

Germany and Italy had been on an overnight trip to Berlin. They were just pulling upto the house when Germany started noticing that things were not as clean as he had left them. In fact, it looked like a bomb had struck. He climbed out the car, Italy scampering around to stand by his side. Before he had left, he had given Prussia specific instructions: No drinking all the beer, no messing up the house and NO PARTYS! The house looked... scary. He didn't want to see what his brother had done to it this early in the morning. He headed around the side of the house to the garden, Italy quietly following him. The Italian could tell that Germany was not in a good mood. The said mood worsened dramatically as he beheld the remains of the garden. The first thing he saw was Romano sleeping on the swing seat. Italy squealed and ran over to his brother.

"Fratello? Fratello? Wake up." He continued to shake the Italian until he was rewarded with: "Fuck off you tomato bastard."

"Ah fratello, I am not Spain. I am Veneciano." Germany turned round from what he had been staring at for the past few seconds.

"Romano, is this your doing?" He stepped out of the way to show the Italian brothers exactly what he meant. For tangled in the tomato plants, his feet sticking out of the destroyed greenhouse wall, lay Spain, apparently fast asleep. As the three stared, a shadow fell over the remainder of the greenhouse. The cause of this shadow was quickly made apparent, as Russia fell straight through the greenhouse roof.

"NO BELARUS! I DON'T WANT TO BECOME ONE WITH YOU!" he screamed, before realising where he was. "Ah, I am no longer on the roof, da?" Germany made no comment. Instead he followed the path and came to the pond. In said pond, floated a certain Nation by the name of America, who had entered the pond rather rapidly courtesy of Cuba. Germany blinked. He then went to the end of the pond, where the shed stood. As he approached, he heard shuffling from inside.

"Ah, Germany-san? Is that you? Is it safe to come out yet?"

"Ja, Japan." The door slowly opened to reveal a crumpled looking Japan, lightly dusted with fertiliser. Germany paused a moment, then turned around and headed back towards the house, his expression blank, where Italy and Romano were staring at him. As he approached the porch, the back door opened to allow Kumajirou through. Germany blinked again.

"Kumajirou, who are you carrying? And why?" The polar bear stopped and looked up at him.

"This person feeds me. I am going to throw him in the pond so he can wake up and do so." Germany nodded, apparently accepting the situation, before allowing the bear past and entering through the back door into the kitchen, followed by Italy, who had decided to leave his brother to sleep on the swing seat outside.

Germany stared at the remains of his kitchen. There were empty beer bottles everywhere. He turned his head to the right. England was curled up on the kitchen counter, snuggling up to an empty bottle of whiskey. France was sitting fast asleep, partially stripped, in the sink next to him. Germany walked over and turned on the cold tap.

"AIEEEEEEEE!" He ignored the startled Frenchman's cries, which were accompanied by a loud thud as England sat up rapidly, smacked his head on the cupboard and fell onto the floor. He walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room. There was a hole in the window. A number of Nations were sleeping on the floor. However the Nation that caught Germany's eye was China, who was sleeping on the dining table with his wok over his head. Germany's expression had not changed. He left the dining room and headed to the stairs. As he passed the storage cupboard, he heard a faint knocking and a quiet voice.

"Hello? Will someone let me out please?" Germany stopped and undid the lock. Out sprawled Austria, his normally calm and controlled manner completely gone. He stared up at the German's blank face, and breathed a sigh of relief as he simply turned away and went over to the cellar door. He knocked twice. The stern voice of Switzerland bellowed up.

"Go away! Liechtenstein and I are not coming up! We have barricaded ourselves in and you will not get through!" Germany left them and went along the corridoor and up the stairs, followed by a terrified Italy. The first room he came to was the bathroom. He pushed to door open with the toe of his boot. Belarus was sitting on the toilet cistern, her right foot in the toilet basin, her head resting on the window, snoring lightly. Lithuania was leaning against the bath, a knife pinning his trousers to the floor in a very delicate area, his snoring slightly heavier. Italy tiptoed behind him and peered into the bathroom. Germany turned away abruptly and walked over to his bedroom door. He opened it carefully and went inside. Italy shuddered before creeping along and entering the bedroom.

Germany stared at the devestation that had used to be his bedroom, his eye twitching. Italy looked scared. Ornaments and pictures were smashed. Korea was passed out on the floor, his entire body ringed with empty beer bottles. Then Germany caught sight of his brother asleep on the bed. That was when he lost it.

"BRUDER! DU KLEINE SCHEIβE!" Prussia opened an eye blearily.

"Oh hey West. Awesome party. You should have been there..."

Germany helped his brother escape through the window. Unfortunately, to the shock of Italy, he forgot to open it first.

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><p><strong>Translations<br>****Ja - yes (German)  
>Bruder - brother (German)<br>Du kleine scheiβe**** - you little shit** **(German)**

**Feel free to review (hint hint) haha  
><strong>**Much love  
><strong>**Mel xx**


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